Defining "me"

This is my high school photo.





It's a curious thing, to age.

I no longer wear long nails or use quite as much hairspray. I sure as hell don't wear as much make-up.
I have not given up my naive nature, believing in people as a whole entity, but a select few have given me reason not to trust them.


My femininity doesn't depend much on how other's view me. I use my nieces for the moments that requires a feminine expression by braiding hair.
My deepest desire is not for the "knight in shinning armor" to save me. I have become my own savior. I make the choices that effect my life and my family's.

Some vanity remains, I must admit. I still want a few certain status symbols like the beamer. I'm pretty sure my morals are in tact. Although, on occasion I have been known to be "human" and err. I have accepted that.
In fact, I embrace the fact that I'm human these days.. Trying to teach my kids not to hold in their farts. I Burp with vigor. I am after all, living in a house with 4 males. Competition is a given! Not to worry, I save it all for home.
I am after all a very feminine creature. I have been told that I am "the epitome of feminine". Obviously some haven't heard me yell "Damn, ...clear the room!" and the giggles that follow, from the boys.
I enjoy tipping well, when I've eaten a good meal. These days they come too far and few. I pump my own gas, even when my husband is in the car. I paint, I fix broken things and I have been known as the "go to gal" when something needs to be built.
I take baths (after scrubbing the tub of course). Calgon is sometimes invited too. I love Yankee Candles, and "Angel" perfume. My favorite color is purple which denotes "passion". I have a passion for art, in various forms. From pictures, paintings, and music.
I enjoy Robert Mondavi, Pinot Noir. Of which I had not ever liked wine until about 10 years ago, when I also found goat cheese. Refining the palate.

Alas, I still have a hearing Impairment.
More pronounced now, than ever before.
Dealing with it and the many facets of life that surround this disability has been a challenge. Every now and again, I break down for a moment... only to get right back up and do something positive about it. I am a very positive person. Through the years have learned to accept people for who they are and sometimes I am able to avoid their negativity.
After all is said and done, I will continue to seek out the best person inside of me, allowing for the occasional human error. Perfectly Imperfect. Human.

The passing of "Dickens"

While we ate our Thanksgiving diner, an animal suffered his final breaths. I pay tribute here to a feline that I captured in photo, at a session for another feline.

Aids in for a fix?

I am without my aids for a whole week. They've been checked into the body shop for a blinging. As per previous posts, I want to get more involved with HLAA and other hearing impaired advocacy venues. So, a, purple they will go. A purple they will go, hi ho the dairy -o a purple they will go.

They (Phonak) are changing out the casing of the aids. I should have them back by Friday of next week. Which means tomorrow I go to another HLAA meeting without em. I'm OK with that! They have f.m. systems that I can use there to hear better.

Then, I'm gonna put Swarovski crystals on em and little blinking lights.

No, not really.

Purple OK.

Lights, trashy.

My whole reason behind the purple hearing aids is to make them a little more "cool" for kids to think about.

Beige, boring. Purple- hey that's cool.

The more these kids get to see people with hearing aids (even the beige ones) the more they are likely to be accepting of disabilities. I plan on talking with some of the folks tomorrow about approaching the schools in the area about disability in school. Perhaps some public speaking is in order?

Painting party.

I'm considering having all of you over to my house to help me paint the damn place. Just kidding, I'm too damn picky, being the daughter of a painter. It has to be done with my exacting measures.... murals and all. ...even Tess can attest to that one, she did a mural in the "green room".

As some of you know my artistic value is sometimes thrust onto the walls. Not this time.

Plain, old, one color painting of the living room. (finally) I feel like I'm living in limbo - that there's so much to be done with the house and I can't possibly get to it all, so why bother trying? Well, the fire has been lit, and my butts getting warm. When it gets too hot to stand, I'm going to paint, Paint, and then I'm going to paint some more. Not only will it help me soothe my erratic household but It will give me the alley-oop to the Pilate's intensive coming up soon.

It's too damn cold to Rollerblade around the lake, Tess gives up on me when I want to go play tennis, and the dog hurts muscles when I want to play with her.. Damn you people!

Since my kids don't read this blog, nor are other people in my life even remotely interested in such activities, I can speak about the Wii. Boy oh boy, I can't wait for Christmas! Uncle Dean has decided to get the boys the Wii for Christmas, which leaves everyone else to get games for it (yay!). Considering I don't buy myself diamonds and pearls at every turn, I think I deserve a Little something something. How about the Wii "Fit"? Not only can I do exercises indoors, I can do it a little cooler! I think that is a pretty good alternative to something I won't wear anyhow.

Sushi for diner

Yeah the guys had fun eating sushi at our local spot. I don't eat fish, never mind RAW fish.
The last time I ate fish, I lived on City Island and I remember that well... Waking up every morning to the smell of rotting leftovers. Mmmmm. Yummy. Lobster used to be nice but since my stint on the island, no way. I almost had a particular difficulty tonight while the guys ate the raw fish. Gag.
I must confess though, it was hilarious to see Joe "crying" from the wasabi. I get a kick outta pain. One of few ways to get a man to cry, Give him wasabi or... tell him you're leaving him! LOL
Today was Joey's birthday and it was his choice of food. I have to say the kid eats really well. A whole sushi deluxe platter!
Plus what ever else his brother couldn't finish.. He's only 9. Football player, ya think?
So, I'm off to finish Nancy's book,
and hope the chiropractor is open tomorrow. ;)
and what did this have to do with hearing?, nothing... nothing at all.

That time of year.

This is the time of year that I start longing for a hot, dry (albeit imaginary) vacation spot. With everything going on in my life right now I can't really go anywhere, never mind a place I would like to go!
Many of you are thinking about your planned mid winter vacations and me, I'm imagining myself going to exotic lands. Can't bring kids or the pooch to an exotic getaway and have it remain that way, for long anyhow.
Now, I've been up and down the East Coast, but never left this side of the states or the country for more than an hour, for that matter. As far North as Canada (the falls) and to the south Florida. While these vacay's have been nice.. there are so many places I would like to go, Dubai for one. I saw a very interesting program on the man made island down/over there.
Then again, I want to see the unique ice hotels in Iceland, too! Sleep on a block of ice covered in fur?? Yep, primal.
How about England and Stone Henge? That's on my list. Got to be cool standing near those huge blocks of stone with mysterious origins...
A friend that I made recently told me to consider Hungary, where both of my parents are from. Hey, if the food is half as good as my mother's cooking, I'm soooo there.
Do they have Pilates in Hungary? ... Sorry, I thought it was funny.
I wonder if sign language is used in Hungary and which one? There are so many different sign languages that every spoken language could have a potential sign language.
I guess if a place can be imagined - I could go at any time. Lucky for me, my imagination is pretty well intact. Where else could a girl go? Japan, Africa, Australia.. sure. Who's buying?

Pain

While pain can be welcome at times to acknowledge a problem that needs to be addressed, now is not the time.

My head is killing me!

No matter what I do, no matter how much Advil I take, the pain just wont go away. I spent the entire day on the couch, listening to soundscapes (quietly). Dozing off here and there trying desperately to get comfortable. Nothing. The pain still hangs behind my eyes right now. It's really annoying because it's changing my very patient demeanor into something not so pleasant... Someone I don't like to be.
Who do you complain to? My kids certainly don't want to hear about my complaints!
My dog just goes on being a dog.
Nothing more to add, just grumbling about a nasty headache...
Damn you, Nancy...lol I read half of A troubled guest last night.
Probably wont write tomorrow as it's my eldest childs birthday and he chose SUSHI for dinner.
ick....

Exhaustion

Nancy is giving me a headache.
Literally.
Ironic that it's not her literature that's causing the pain but the fact that I can't put the damn books down. I bring them with me to bed. I bring them with me to school, so I can read in between classes, too. But the night time reading is what does it. I get such a kink in my neck and that is what causes my headaches! Nancy really had nothing to do with it! Except of course for her role in writing my current attraction. I've finished voice lessons and of course plain text, onward to a troubled guest.
I gave a presentation, after writing a 6 or seven page scientific paper on Cochlear Implants. When I get my grade back, I'll share that with y'all.
Back to Exhaustion. Did you know that Hard of hearing people have to work that much harder to understand speech AND that there is a term called Audio Exhaustion? Well, I must be the epitome of Audio Exhausted cause... I crashed today, and almost missed picking up the toddler at day care! I think this end of the semester stuff is harder and coming more frequently than is has before.
But on a lighter note I had a laughing fit today.. I being the generous gal that I am.. offered to share my books on Mairs to anyone else using her for the last English paper of the year. When another classmate said "Oh, yeah... I'll take it. " I was a bit skeptical, to say the least. I then replied "you're going to return it after you read it right?"
to which his statement showed me the reason for my "A" work and his undoubted failure.. "OH,, you mean, I have to read it? Oh, man.."
Don't put too much effort into it pal, you might get a "D"... for dumbass.
Needless to say - I'd rather donate to book to the campus library and let others get something out of her writing like I did.... Balls... and a Voice... Now I just have to perfect it... then die.